"When You Feel Like You’re Not Making a Difference"

In this deeply encouraging episode, I, Malakai, speak directly to the hearts of teachers, caregivers, youth leaders, mentors, and anyone who spends their life pouring into others while quietly wondering if any of it truly matters.

“When You Feel Like You’re Not Making a Difference” explores the emotional weight of showing up every day without always seeing results. From burnout and comparison to the unseen impact of consistency, this conversation is a reminder that the work you do matters—even when growth isn’t immediately visible.

I unpack the difference between planting seeds and seeing results, while offering hope to those who feel tired, overlooked, or discouraged in the work they do with children and young people.

Sometimes the biggest impact happens quietly.

If you’ve been questioning your purpose, your effectiveness, or whether your presence is making a difference at all… this episode is for you.

Press play, take a breath, and remember: unseen impact is still impact.

Music by PurpleCoat

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Yo yo yo, welcome back to the Safe Space Podcast. A place where you don't have to have it all together. A place where you can be honest, be seen, and just be you. Um, I'm your host, Malachi, and I'm really, really glad that you guys are here because we are on episode 19, and we're one more episode away from wrapping up season one. Wow, wow, this has been a journey. Wow, I thank you guys again, as I've said in the last episode, for tuning in, for being here, for allowing me to share my knowledge and my experience as a teacher, mentor, minister, other things. Um, yeah, you guys, you guys are very much supportive, and I appreciate it. Um, but yeah, let's get into it. Today's episode is for the ones who hmm. This episode is for the ones who are tired, the ones who keep showing up, but they quietly wonder if it even matters. Today we're talking about when you feel like you're not making a difference. Because if you work with kids, if you pour into people, if you give your time, your energy, your patience every single day, at some point this thought has probably caught crossed your mind, you know. You might ask things like, Is anything I'm doing actually working? Am I actually making a difference? Segment one, the silent question. This is the part that nobody really talks about. You can give your all to children, you can show up consistently, you can correct, you can guide, you can encourage, and still feel like nothing is really changing. The same behavior show up, the same challenges repeat, the same moments test your patience, and it could really make you feel like you're failing. But let me say this to you guys just because you don't see immediate change doesn't mean you're not making a difference. Segment two seeds versus results. A lot of the work you're doing, it's seed planting work. And we gotta remember, like real seeds, seeds don't grow overnight. You might be teaching a child how to express their emotions, or showing them what consistency might look like, or just being the first adult who genuinely and actually listens to them, and you won't always see that outcome right away. Some of what you plant today won't grow until months, and sometimes even years. Here's your safe space truth for today. Impact isn't always visible, but that doesn't mean that it isn't real. Impact isn't always visible, but that doesn't mean that it isn't real. Just because a child doesn't say thank you, just because their behavior doesn't change immediately, doesn't mean they're not being shaped out by your presence. Segment four The Moments You Didn't Notice Sometimes we overlook the small wins because we're so focused on big change, but impact often looks like a child choosing to sit next to you, or a child calming down faster than they used to. A moment where they almost re reacted to a certain thing, but they didn't, or even a quiet thank you that you barely caught. Those moments matter. They are evidence that something is shifted even if it's small, and those things should be recognized. Segment five. Comparison will drain you. Another thing that can make you feel like you're not making a difference, comparison. You know, that old saying that comparison kills the cat. Looking at the other teachers, caregivers, leaders, and thinking that they're better, or thinking that the results that they're getting are better, but you don't see everything behind the scenes. Every child is different, every environment is different, every connection is different. Your impact is not meant to look like anyone else's. Be you, stick to what you've been doing. Segment six. You might be their only safe adult. Okay. So now I really, really want you to sit with this part right here. For some kids, you might be the only adult who listens without judgment, the one who corrects without tearing them down, the one who is showing up consistently, and even if they don't say it, they feel it. Your presence alone, teachers, caregivers, providers, ministers, mentors, your presence alone is making more of a difference than you realize. Now let's come from a faith perspective for my believers in Christ. If you're someone who believes in God, this part is for you. Not every assignment shows immediate fruit. Some of what you're doing, it's obedience. Showing up when you're tired, being patient when it's hard, loving kids who are difficult to love. Those things matter even when you don't see the results right away. Even if you never see them, they matter. Because sometimes God doesn't call us to see the outcome, He calls us to be faithful in the process. I want you to think about this. Can you remember a time when someone impacted you, but you didn't really realize it until later? That's the kind of impact you might be having right now. The kind that doesn't show up immediately, but it stays with someone long after the moment has passed. I always tell people in teaching, for me, I want my three-year-olds to be grown adults and say, Oh my goodness, I remember Mr. Malachi from when I was three. I remember how patient he was. I remember what he taught me. I remember that he liked Barney so much and that he would implement those things in our lessons. I loved that he loved teaching. So maybe it's about the moment. But just remember, you are impacting someone, whether now or whether they realize it later, you matter. You are impacting. You're not wasting your time. You're not pouring into nothing. You are not failing. You are planting, you are shaping, you are showing up, and all of that matters. All of that matters, even on the days it doesn't feel like it, it all matters. Sometimes it feels like I pour, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor. And nothing matters. But you want to know why I keep going? I continue to go because I know that I have a mission. I know that I have lives to impact. I know that I have people, I have children to lead. So remember, you matter. Thank you guys for being here with me on this episode of Safe Space. If this episode spoke to you, send it to someone who might need that reminder too. Because sometimes we do. Sometimes we need that reminder that we matter, and that's okay. So, as we get ready for our final episode of the season, I want you guys to always keep in mind that this is your safe space. I'll see you in episode 20. I am so sorry if you guys heard a cough or two while I was recording. My son isn't feeling good. So I'ma hop off here and I'm gonna take care of him. But remember, remember, every child is a seed, it just takes someone willing to water them. Peace.