"When You’re the Strong One But Still Need Support"

In this episode, I, Malakai, dive into the reality of being “the strong one”—the person everyone leans on, checks for, and depends on… but rarely checks in on.

If you’ve ever felt like you have to hold it all together, even when you’re falling apart inside, this conversation is for you. I create safe and honest spaces to talk about the hidden weight of strength, the quiet loneliness that can come with it, and the truth that needing support doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human.

This episode is a reminder that you don’t have to carry everything alone. You deserve to be supported, heard, and cared for, too.

Take a moment, press play, and allow yourself to step out of survival mode… and into a space where you can finally breathe.

Instrumentals provided by Kerron Stark.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Yo yo yo, welcome back to the Safe Space Podcast. A place where you don't have to have it all together. A place where you can be honest, be seen, and just be. I'm your host, Malachi. And I'm really glad you're here today. Like, genuinely. And today's episode is for a very specific kind of person. The strong one. Yeah, you. I'm even talking to myself. The one everyone calls when things are falling apart. The one who gives the advice. The one who checks on everybody else. But somehow, people don't check on you the same way. Today, we're talking about when you're the strong one, but still need support. Now, let's start here. Being the strong one sounds like a compliment, and sometimes it is, but other times it becomes a role that you didn't ask for, a responsibility that you didn't choose. And a very heavy weight you don't always know how to put down because you might just love what you do. This is for my teachers, my leaders, my parents, my mentors, preachers, pastors, people who are leading and teaching children or just kind of in that field of being of assistance to people. It's a weight that you don't always know how to put down. Because somewhere along the way, people stopped asking if you were okay. Segment one, the hidden pressure of being strong. Now, when you're the strong one, people assume a lot about you. They assume that you can handle anything. They assume that you don't break. But strength doesn't mean you don't feel. Because if you do, who's gonna be strong for everyone else? Y'all, this is good to me. A lot of this is me giving my feelings. Mm-hmm. A lot of this is me and what I carry, but because I carry it, I know there are teachers, mentors, and people that work with children and that are in that field that carry the same thing. So I pray that as I am learning balance and learning to navigate, that this episode helps those who feel like they aren't seen and they're carrying so much. Segment two. Let's talk about something that doesn't get said enough. Being the strong one can be lonely. Not because people don't love you, but because they don't always see you. Some people may see your strength, but not your struggle. They hear your encouragement, but not your exhaustion. And you might find yourself thinking things like, Oh, I wish someone would check on me without me having to ask, or I wish I didn't always have to be the one holding it together. I wish I had a safe space too. And if that's you, there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. Segment three. Safe space truth. Now here's your safe space truth for today. Just because you're strong doesn't mean you're not allowed to need support. I'm gonna say that one more time. Just because you're strong doesn't mean you're not allowed to need support. Strength is not the absence of need, it's not independence from people. Real strength is knowing when you need help and being honest about it. Segment four. Why we don't ask for help. Alright, alright, alright, alright. Let's get honest here. Why is it so hard for the strong one to ask for support? Sometimes it's because you're used to being the helper and not the one being helped. Or maybe because you don't want to feel like a burden. That's one that I carry a lot. Sometimes it's because you've tried opening up before and it wasn't received very well. Or sometimes you just don't know how to express what you're feeling. And sometimes you've been strong for so long you don't even know what it looks like to be supported. Segment five. What it looks like to let people in. Letting people support you doesn't mean that you're weak. It means that you're human. That might look like saying, hey, I'm not okay today, instead of I'm good. Or that might look like letting someone sit with you, even if they can't fix it. It could look like not always having the answers, or it could look like not always being the one who holds everything together. And yeah, it might feel uncomfortable at first, but you deserve to experience the same care that you give to others. This is a very vulnerable episode, guys, because one thing I'm learning in balance is how can you how can you pour out if you don't allow people to pour into you? Or how can you pour out if you're empty? You know, and the drive for wanting to help and wanting to love and all that, that can that can be your fuel for but so long. But how can you pour when your cup is bone dry? Second six, a faith perspective. Now, if you're someone who believes in God, I want to talk to you for a second. Now, this could be whatever God you believe in, whatever you this safe space podcast is for everybody. Now, me, I believe in God, I believe in Jesus Christ. That is my Lord, my savior. He sent his son to die for me. So I believe in that God. So while some may believe in Jesus, some may believe in any other God, but whatever God that you believe in, even in faith, a lot of us who are strong, we feel like we have to carry everything. But the truth is, God never asked you to carry it all alone. This is me speaking about my God, the Christian faith, Jesus Christ. So encouragement. God never asked you to carry it all alone. There are moments in life where strength looks like surrender. Where instead of saying, Oh, I got it, cool, you say, God, I need you. And not just God, but sometimes God sends people to help carry what you've been holding. But if you never open up, you might miss the support that He's trying to send your way. I want you to think about this. When was the last time someone checked on you and you actually told the truth? Not I'm good, or not I'm just tired, but the real answer, the authentic answer, the genuine answer. And if the answer is I don't remember, that's something worth paying attention to. So a little encouragement from me to you, as I am also learning, you don't have to stop being strong, but you do need to stop thinking that strength means silence. You can be strong and still speak. Strong and still need, strong and still be supported. You are not just a safe space for everyone else. You deserve a safe space too. So in this very heavy episode of Safe Space, I thank you for being here today. If this episode spoke to you, send it to someone whom I needed to. This is your safe space. This is why I created it to share my experiences, to share things that I've learned as an educator, mentor, minister, all the things, Father. I've created this to share my experiences and hoping that seeds are planted and that you take in something new. This is your safe space. I'll see you in the next episode. And remember, every child is a seed, it just takes someone willing to water them. Peace.